This set of epic sarcastic quotes feature, sarcastic comments, taglines, funny, inspirational, and witty quotes.
Add these sarcasm quotes and lines to your system so whenever you find the need for one use them.
These sarcastic quotes are accumulated from 100 of different sources and compile for you to get the bestest of epic sarcastic quotes.
You can these sarcastic quotes like, for girls, boys, to inspire someone, etc. Things get more interesting when you read funny sarcastic relationship quotes.
Trust me, I personally search for epic sarcastic quotes on relationships to tease my woman and it worked like butter.
Epic Sarcastic Comments & Sarcastic Tagline For Insta Captions
- Once upon a time, I was sweet and innocent. And then shit happened.
- It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
- Don’t Underestimate My Ability to find shit out.
- You Reminded Me of a Penny. Two-Faced, and no worth much.
- Life us to short be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself call me.. I’ll laugh at you.
- I’m actually not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking
- Mirrors Don’t lie And Lucky For You They Don’t Laugh
- They say good things take time ….That’s why I’m always late.
- I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.
- Not a single one of my multiple personalities like you.
- Feed Your Own EGO I’M BUSY
- I am Not Lazy I am on Energy Saving Mode
- I’m not a hot mess I’m a spicy disaster
- Life Is Full Of Disappointments And I Just Added You To That
- If you treat me like an option, I’ll leave you like the choice.
- Oh, darling go buy a personality.
- Of course, I talk to my self sometimes I need expert advice.
- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
- The trash gets picked up tomorrow be ready.
- Zombies eat brains. Don’t worry, You’re safe.
- My Alone Time is Sometimes For Your Safety.
- I like sleeping because it’s like being dead without commitment.
- It’s ok if you don’t like me. Not everyone has perfect taste.
Sarcastic Motivational & Inspirational Quotes For Instagram
- Tough times don’t last, tough people, do.
- Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.
- If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out. Lawrence Ferlinghetti
- Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics, I can assure you that mine are all greater. Albert Einstein
- Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
- You can be whatever you want; however, in your case, you should probably aim low.
- I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. Sam Kinison
- Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up.
- Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
- If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question.
- Oh, come on! I am not being sarcastic with you. You really sing well… In fact, you sing better than the wretched crows in my neighborhood! Damn those crows…
- Marriage is a bliss for people who aren’t in it.
- If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember!
- Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. P. J. O’Rourke
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes with Images For Instagram
If you want to post status on sarcasm or sarcasm comment on someone’s social media post then these funny sarcastic quotes are best to be used. Also, you can use these sarcastic funny quotes on life as well as these are unique and famous sarcastic quotes.
- A woman’s apology, I’m sorry but it was your fault.
- Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.
- Money talks mine always says ”Goodbye”.
- I need to special distance from the kitchen. I tested positive for the fat ass.
- It’s ok if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
- My Level Of Sarcasm has Gotten to The Point to WhereI Don’t Even know if I’m kidding or not.
- I wish people come with a 30-second tailor. So I can see what I’m getting myself into.
- People need to start appreciating the effort I put into not be a serial killer.
- Be careful what you tell people A Friend Today could be an Enemy tomorrow.
- Only two things change in your life. Your age and your outlook.
- You were my cup of tea, But i drink champagne now.
- I Need to teach my facial expressions. How to use inside their voice.
- My Boss Told me to have a Good Day So I went home.
- I love sarcasm it’s like punching in the face but with the word.
- You bring the alcohol ill to bring the bad decision.
- After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
- Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
- Sometimes it’s not the people who change, it’s the mask that falls off.
- Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
- No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.
- My Luck is Like a Bald Guy Who Just Won a Comb.
- What’s a queen without her king? Well historically speaking, more powerful.
- Never take advice from me you will end up drunk.
Ultimate Epic Sarcastic Quotes For Instagram
- Oh, you’re dating my ex cool, I’m eating a Sandwich… want those Leftovers too.
- The last time I saw sometimes like you, I flushed it.
- Sorry Honey. Sarcasm Falls out of my mouth, just like Stupid Falls from yours.
- Oh, my Bad. I’m sorry for bothering you. I forgot I only exist when you need me for Something.
- I cried when you left me but I laughed when I saw what you left me for.
- One drink away from telling everyone what I really think.
- Bitch please your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
- If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
- Hey, I found your nose it was in my business.
- I hope one day you choke on the shit you talk.
- Take me back to the night we met, I’ll leave you there.
- If Someone Asks” Are You Crazy?” Simply Reply “Yes.” Boom. End of Discussion.
- The consumer isn’t a moron; she is your wife. David Ogilvy.
- You’d be in good shape if you run as much as your mouth.
- Are you Always so Stupid or is today a Special Occasion?
- I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
- Not all women are annoying. Some are dead.
Witty & Sarcastic Quotes For Idiots
These are the best witty quotes about marriage as well as love. If you looking for the best lines that explain the marriage in these sarcastic quotes that no one can beat today.
Have a look at these sarcastic quotes about marriage and love from famous people. If there is anything that can mock the lamb out of a wolf, it is sarcasm.
- Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. Cecilia Egan
- Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. Ashleigh Brilliant
- Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse! Groucho Marx
- Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford
- We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. Henny Youngman
- The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby. Natalie Wood
- Marriage is given and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. Joey Adams
- There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. James Holt McGavran
- You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!
- I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. Patrick Murray
- Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen
- It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain
- Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
- Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. Groucho Marx
- Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions. Frank Lloyd Wright
- This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.
- Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. Billy Connolly
- If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction.
- Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately, it kills all its students! Robin Williams
- Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
- When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.
- I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. Max Kauffmann
- I can be quite sarcastic when I’m in the mood. J.D. Salinger
- Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it. Gene Perret
- Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck
- It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. Robert Frost
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket. Will Rogers
- If a stranger offers you a piece of candy, take two.
- I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx
- In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker. Woody Allen
- When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry
- I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic. Sarah Rees Brennan
- There are two theories to arguing with women(Girls). Neither one works. Will Rogers
- This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. Lorrie Moore
I hope you liked these epics sarcastic quotes that we compile from the best source. If you need more sarcastic quotes ideas then refer to the below links.